This is an unfair state of affairs. Ask yourself in all honesty: would you consciously make a decision to take action which will be detrimental to your own well-being? Of course not. So why expect our billionaire leaders and their accomplices to make such decisions?
We should feel sorry for the likes of Ree-Smug, Bojo and Mrs Maybot. Please give them a thought this Christmas. You have nothing to lose or protect, and therefore you have no need to worry about anything more important than finding somewhere out of the cold and a bite to eat. The freedom this gives you! The sheer emancipation of having nothing between you and destitution. How liberating!
On the other hand, consider the hardships of Mr Ree-Smug (to take an example of many). He is the modern Prometheus, chained to his responsibility to improve himself and having so many vital decisions resting on his narrow shoulders: how to best protect his fortune, for example. How to ensure he hangs on to power; what colour bow-tie should he wear to this year's festive season ball. Will his wife ever forgive him for the unsubtle but ambiguous response he gave to the flirtation of Victoria Coren-Mitchell on "Have I Got News For You"? How can he bolster his reputation within the Tory party? So many concerns; so much stress he's under.
Further, think about his poor family. What if he dies? All those issues to resolve - death duties; inheritance tax; the cost of a state funeral if they're not covered by MPs' expenses; O - don't start me on pensions.Whereas if you die, a pauper's grave will cost your family just a notional payment. You have nothing to worry about. It'll all be taken care of, eventually, somehow, and perhaps someone will leave by the railway track a small bunch of wilted flowers.
Stop your endless whinnying and complaining. You just don't know when you're well off. Stop moaning all the time about your lot; you've never had it so good. You've got nothing. Be grateful. Start thinking about others, in particular those suffering the angst, pains and suffering of the ruling classes. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, give thanks that you have the ultimate liberty of nothing to safeguard - no home; no money; no future. And bear in mind that it's all your fault. You voted them in, thereby off-loading your duties by putting the burdens onto their wealthy shoulders. The stress our rich leaders suffer is as a direct result of your vote (this applies in the USA as well as the UK).
Look at Mrs Maybot. How she's aged since she became Prime Minister; how stooped she is and depressed she looks. It's the Peter Principal. She's been promoted to the level of her incompetence and it's sapping her strength. That's entirely your fault for facilitating the imposition, Are you completely heartless? I think not.
I believe in you. I believe you are not completely heartless. So at this time of goodwill to all men and women, I call on you, all the needy and impoverished citizens and inhabitants of the UK, to give a thought to all those poor billionaires less fortunate than yourself and be prepared to give generously in an effort to cheer them. Imagine their little faces when they wake up on Christmas morning and find that they haven't been forgotten, that they're true plight has finally been recognised. Please donate your last few pennies. A financial trust near you needs your cash, and let's be honest - you're better served by giving it than having it taken from you.
What do you need the money for anyway? Your reward will come in Heaven whereas even Satan won't accept our billionaire leaders for fear of being found guilty by association. And remember, charity begins at home - or would do if you had one.
Merry Christmas.
Next year: an appeal on behalf of newspaper proprietors and bankers.
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